Marriage and Re-Igniting Excellence: Tending the Flame

[Another reprint from my Sidelines writing.  Enjoy!]

It was my extraordinary beauty that attracted my husband to me all those years ago, and me to him, beauty that, in our eyes, was excellent, or we would not have married each other.

I am not bragging. It is the same with any woman and any man who is married not by coercion or as a matter of convenience. Something beautiful therein lies. Something magnetic and excellent enough that either you or your spouse caused the dating wheel to stop, and you both began to play the game where it lay.

Are you still beautiful? What was his beauty? What was her beauty? What was your beauty, and is it still there? Was it your cooking? Was it the way you walked, or the way your eyes showed deep appreciation? Was it your sharp insight, or your endless patience that clothed him in an acceptance that never ended?

Again, what is your beauty? You need to know, and to keep tabs on it as it evolves, and perhaps as it changes. It probably will.

Marriage is a journey, an obstacle course of sandpits and steeple chases. Occasionally looking in the mirror, even gazing into one’s navel, is sometimes required in order to right a wrong course.

In my eyes, my own beauty lie not just in the shape of my eyes or the curve of my hips, although those are also where it lies for him. My beauty lies in the timber of my heart, the fierceness of my drive, the quality of my art and life as I greet life every day. I think he likes that, too. My smile doesn’t hurt, even though I’ve broken a tooth recently. Your broken tooth can be fixed, if need be.

I’ve learned, however, to recognize the times when I need to re-set the sails, to pull out the stilettos, to quiet the storm, or to make his heart beat stronger. Sometimes that knowledge sneaks up on me, instead of coming naturally to the fore. It hits me over the head after a particularly momentous storm has passed, a storm where neither one of us saw the clouds before they raged and blew us far from our course. After they’ve passed, we usually need to shelter a while to breathe easily together again.

Do you always see when the clouds are on the horizon? Do you know how to batten down the hatches? Can you learn?

So I’m going to ask you: Do you still make your woman’s heart flutter? Do you still go to work with a drive that is only replenished when you come home at night and plug yourself into her energy, your spouse’s welcoming arms? If not, is it that you are now on that plateau of busy-ness and disconnectedness that makes you aware that it is past time to re-spark the wire and add new spices to your marital agreement, lest you neglect it to a point of no-return? That’s an OK place to be as well: Aware.

So are you still excellent? Were you ever? Are you your best self? If not, it’s OK, because we are not always our best selves, and marriage is supposed to withstand those times, as long as you aim to be your best again some time in the (near) future.

So, where are you?

More importantly, share what you do to re-ignite that spark and keep it going.


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Impressionism & Ice Cream: When Kindergartners meet Claude Monet

[Reprinted from this week’s post of mine on at You can join the conversation.]

Like the crazy, eccentric art teacher I am, instead of greeting these last days of elementary school by closing up shop and giving every kid that comes into my art room free access to leftover crayons, paper scraps, and the broom, I decided this week to introduce my kindergartners and 1st graders to Claude Monet and the Impressionists. On a whim. On a lark. In a fit of madness. It’s Wednesday evening now, and I can reflect and say: It’s becoming a beautiful experience.

I first found a 10-minute video on Youtube of a nine or ten year old girl going on a “treasure hunt” for light and color, relating Monet’s ennui with the idea of copying the “Masters” in the Louvre to his desire to chase light and to freely paint what he could see around him.

This little girl, with her pageboy haircut and little girl lilt, a sound with which they identify, took my little students on a tour of golden haystacks and myriad irises in and near Giverny, France. She showed them the pond behind her school which reminded her of Monet’s painting, “The Japanese Bridge”, and she regaled them with painting after painting of flowers, flowers and more flowers.

For my second-language learners (most of them), I pulled up Google images of different kinds of haystacks, because ours here in Colorado are mostly rolled like a jelly roll versus stacked like the huts in Monet’s neighboring fields. I also showed my girls and boys, just for good measure, photos of purple and blue irises, choosing one painting, “Irises in Monet’s Garden” to start them on a little oil pastel drawing of their own, letting them experiment with all of the colors, the dots, bright speckles and lines that could be found in their own impression of a garden of flowers Monet-style.

My children are not finished, but they are having fun, and the results are telling. For teachers, these last dog days of wrapping up and report cards and boxes and wired-tired schoolchildren are all summarized in a cute picture that’s circulating on the internet now: It shows a neat, trim and smiling owl professor at the beginning of a school year giving way to a scraggly, worn-down version that looks like the raggediest owl from that 2010 movie, “Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole.” You know which one I’m talking about, with his crossed-eyed self.

Yes, we teachers feel like that now. Each day is excruciating. But, for the best of us, each day also presents us with children who in some way need something we have, and in my art room, that is the freedom to be creative, to be exposed to beauty and to new ideas, to have some freedom that other, more necessarily regimented classes cannot provide in a normal school setting. (Even today, a veteran English teacher dropped off some end-of-the-school-year recyclables in my room as kindergartners were leaving, and I could hear her murmuring “Bless you, bless you” to me as she hurried out of my paint-splattered, clay encrusted art space. Better you than me, is how most teachers feel about an active art room where kids can create freely.) Better me than you.

Well, tomorrow’s Thursday, some of them are going on a last-ditch try at a field trip to a farm, re-scheduled several times due to our eclectic Colorado weather. Unless it snows tomorrow (and it’s still May so, here in Colorado, it’s a possibility), my children will wait until Friday to finish their gardens. Some of their oil pastels look amazingly close to Monet’s work at Giverny, some have superheroes sitting amongst the flowers, a few have tomatoes growing and rainbows sprouting, but here, at the end of this school year, days left in my art room, creativity and inspiration lives!

My nine-year-old just asked me, “Mom, where does the ice cream come in?” My answer: Creativity and ice cream go hand in hand in my book!

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Posted by on May 29, 2015 in education, parenting


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10 Reasons Why Teachers Deserve More Money

[Re-posted from my Sidelines writing at]


1. Because they teach content AND wipe your child’s noses at the same time.

2. Because they spend hours outside of the classroom designing lessons and correcting your child’s work.

3. Because they stand in harm’s way to keep your child safe and alive in your absence, and sometimes die doing so.

4. Because they wipe your child’s tears almost as much as you do.

5. Because when you were in too much of a hurry to get breakfast or snack, they made sure your child ate.

6. Because they put up with parent bullies as much as child bullies.

7. Because they form a tight professional community to make sure creeps and perverts are quickly weeded out of the teaching profession.

8. Because administrators often develop amnesia when they leave the classroom and forget that classroom teachers are on the front line.

9. Because most teachers are degreed, highly-educated, and have a lot of experience.

10. Because we pay for what we value, and if we value education, we should value educators.

Your thoughts?

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Posted by on February 22, 2015 in education, parenting


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Word of the Year: FORGIVENESS

The Word of the Year is FORGIVENESS.

Of self for not being perfect, and of those who’ve hurt you because they aren’t either!

As noted previously, ‘UNforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”

Forgiveness doesn’t make you weak. It also doesn’t mean you forget, or that you have to stay around the person who hurt you.


Forgive me if I’ve hurt or offended you before. I forgive you if you’ve done the same.

– Jenny. Happy 2015.



New Year’s Resolutions for Race Relations in America

[Again, from my writing at Sidelines.  Be safe this New Year’s eve.]

I have Hope. I want you to have it, too. Regarding race relations in America, this past year has been rough, bitter, painful, enlightening and transcendent from day to day, almost moment by moment in some communities across our continent. The deaths of almost-grown children at the hands of law enforcement officers, the deaths of law enforcement officers at the hands of crazed, grief-stricken mavericks, the death of a college-aged daughter whose car just happened to break down in the wrong neighborhood, the deaths of fathers at the hands of overzealous rookies – these were all spurred by a uniquely domestic disease that America is STILL trying to cure. Race. We’ve had some shots and taken some bitter medicine, but now it’s time to go to therapy if we ever hope to get through this.

Thus, at the beginning of this shining New Year where we have lost loved ones, given the cold shoulder to friends over words, witnessed stupidity mixed right along with heart-felt and “Right”-driven protest, cried bitter tears and developed new worries for our own children, here are some New Year’s Resolutions that we need to keep.

They will be few, so we can focus on achieving them. They will have maximum effect, because they will adhere to the SMART goal criteria borrowed earnestly from business management, as suggested by Bethany Blanton in her post, “SMART New Year’s Resolutions;” in other words, they will be Specific,Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

I will be your cheer-leader and adopt the ruthless positivity of your own personal trainer in encouraging you to work on them, to make them your own and to add to or replace them as necessary to achieve them, knowing that this is now Life-or-Death, not a simple drive to lose a few pounds but to shirk a disease that can kill.

So, here they are:

1) To Reset Our Police: We resolve to equip, respect and honor our police men and women enough to give them more down time – more vacation time with better pay, to provide mental and spiritual rejuvenation on a weekly basis, to train them not to “Shoot to Kill” with our citizens by exploring other options, and to integrate and sensitize them to each particular community they serve by requiring them to spend time in after-school programs to hear our children’s hopes, as well as in job search circles to hear stories of perseverance. SMART application: By next New Year’s Eve, 70%-80% of every police department in America should increase paid vacation time by 15%, conduct regular screening for mental illness if they don’t already, and provide ongoing community internships in non-police capacities.

2) To Educate the Mainstream: We resolve to improve the attitudes of Americans over 30, and to provide historical perspective to those younger, towards people of other races by using media outlets to draw more accurate pictures of the everyday lives of American people, whether Asian, African-American, Italian-American, Native American, Hispanic American, Irish-American, just American. SMART application: We raise funds to support screenwriters, artists, children’s book writers, historians, major actors, to bring to the internet and big screen more high-quality stories on American lives, fun apps that integrate history and diversity, and portray all children, teens, adults as valuable and irreplaceable no matter their skin color, hair texture, habits of speech, or dress.

3) To Improve our Personal Mindsets: We resolve to press “re-set” on our attitudes towards each other, to strive to achieve without stepping on each other or looking down on others because they live differently. SMART application: Volunteer monthly in a clothing bank, a food bank, a library, a domestic abuse shelter. Just once a month. Listen to stories. Some will make you angry. Many will inspire you. Just start. Call Monday and volunteer.

OK, I tried. Now for someone else to add a goal or two, or to make these even SMARTer or more realistic. They are off the top of my head and from the first layer of my heart. Time for others to try, too. Happy New Year.

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Posted by on December 31, 2014 in education, parenting, race relations


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Minecraft: A Mother’s Plea – and Threat!

[Another Sidelines re-post of my writing.  Enjoy!  UPDATE: If you want to see the original, which is taking on a very interesting life of its own with commenters and insights going deep into this.  You can find it at ]


Come speak to me. Come skinny-dip for me into the beautiful worlds of Minecraft, an international phenomenon that blows away most competition when it comes to addictiveness – and some say inventiveness. Then, get out of the water and let’s talk. I’ll be waiting up on shore.

In case you have not yet been inducted into Minecraft’s allure – either as a player, a parent, a teacher, or a spouse:

Welcome to cubist floral agriculture, block-headed monsters named Enderman and Creeper, rectangular cows, sheep, pigs and wolves, semi-final tournaments, and scrolling chats that go on for hours. The graphics are not amazing, but Minecraft can steal your child away for days if you let it.

Oh, homework will get done, food somewhat eaten (albeit too close to keyboards if you’re not watching), and intellectual development will continue on a completely different spectral plane, but that’s about it. Bath time, laundry, grocery-shopping, forget it. The game takes debates about screen-time, the overuse of technology, and parenting and negotiation skills to a whole new level.

I get it that Minecraft is like, as some say, a more adventurous version of Legos, a constructible world with connections to engineering and architecture to the point that there is even a Minecraft version customized for Educational use. But I don’t know if we want that. Someone needs to enlighten me further. That should surprise some: An advocate for digital innovation, a champion for the Hour of Code, and a former old-school gamer, I am the mother of a Minecraft moderator who’s about to study computer science in college. None of that matters right now: My mothering perspective is trumping my gamer perspective Big Time when it comes to this game. I am on the verge of pulling the plug, and need someone to tell me why I shouldn’t.

Minecraft, a siren call that can shipwreck a routine, has a pull that can be likened to the Pied Piper’s fatal music. Your job as a parent might be to allow some music appreciation without the end result of drowning, but some parents will say we’re all better off without that kind of music. I’m wondering.

I am for adventure, and for building new worlds, and for collaborating with online teammates to heighten levels of creativity (as long as the real-world creepers can be screened out of the chat room).

I am not, however, for substituting enormous chunks of real-world time for digital world time, not when beautiful snow drifts beckon outside my door, when flour and sugar and vanilla should be calling from the pantry enticing my child to make a new batch of cookies, or when even couch potato status with siblings should be calling (that one works only when “Shingeki no Kyoujin: Attack of the Titans” or “Hunter X Hunter” is on).

So, then, somebody please take us a little deeper into the Minecraft world and give parents on my side of the fence a reason why we shouldn’t give our kids an inevitably protest-inducing 45 minutes-a-day time limit – or pull the plug altogether. Chores do get done quickly, though, when a Minecraft tournament is about to start, but that’s not enough to make me incentivize everything that needs to be done in real life. I don’t have the least bit of time to jump into Minecraft myself – because, if I do and find out for myself why it’s so attractive, my family life will crumble to the ground. Not happening.


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Posted by on December 30, 2014 in education, gaming, parenting


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Teachers – PBS Needs You. The PBS Learning Media Digital Innovators Program.

While looking for resources for my students’ parents and fellow teachers to list on my new children’s website, “Mrs. Davenport’s Fun Pages,” I came across this announcement from PBS, always a tried-and-true addition to any approved list for schoolchildren in America:

“PBS is looking for America’s most innovative educators!”   Searching for educators who are “creatively integrating digital media and technology in your classroom,” PBS is offering an opportunity to teachers to become leaders through a year-long professional development teachers can participate in while continuing to do what they do best: Teach.

This is not their first year doing this, and it remains to be seen how such a program impacts day-to-day instruction in the classroom, but it sounds like an excellent opportunity for serious teachers who want to deepen their impact.

More info is at

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Posted by on December 12, 2014 in education, parenting


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